Today was the first full PMDD day of my cycle. I've been fighting off the creeping anxiety for a few days, but when I woke up this morning feeling like I was borrowing an ill-fitting skin, I knew the switch was about to be flipped. Fast forward a few hours and I was lying in the foetal position crying over Blue Whale statistics. PMDD is fun like that.
As I started digging around in my PMDD survival kit wondering which flotation device would get me through this round of depression and anxiety, I realised I had started to amass a lot of them. So, why not share them here? Read More
I have wanted to write this for some time now. Picture me as the classic writer scrawling across reams of paper only to scrunch them up and throw them onto a colossus mountain of discarded words. I don’t know why I can’t get such a simple story written down. Perhaps it is because there is no way to tie it up into a happily-ever-after. In fact, there is no neat way to tie it up at all, no revelation, no satisfaction, no ending.
But I have to find a way to write it down because the deck has a name, and it is an important name to me. I am uncomfortable with people assuming I have chosen its name because it sounds mystical and arcane. I am worried that people will think I am being flippant about the low vision community. So, here it is in all of its messy, incomplete glory: the story of how the Blind Tarot deck found its name. Read More
Wishing all of my friends, family and followers happy holidays. May they be restful and full of love and merriment, however you choose to celebrate. Read More
At first, when the down days come, they are almost comforting in their inevitability. A thick, familiar blanket to sink into. I bury beneath them and block out the bombardment of sounds and feelings of an ordinary life, let my skin go numb.
A few days in and the mustiness of that blanket is no longer pleasant. I’m ready to break free, but the decision is taken from me. I cannot find the edges of that damp, clinging depression. I tear at my face, fighting for all those times I’ve breathed fresh love, joy and curiosity, and remain piteously tangled. Cocooned in an invisible solitude. Read More